Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

38 Problems Only People From Hawaii Will Understand

August 21st, 2013
By



Rice Fest countdown = 11 days! 8)

Sorry peeps, no "Where In Hawaii" this week. I figgah I go try and mix things up a bit once in a while. 8)

So some of you may know about this funny piece called "38 Problems Only People From Hawaii Will Understand" that was recently posted on Buzzfeed by Community Contributor Matthew Dekneef. It has gone fairly viral and for good reason. Buggah is funny.

But for those who haven't seen it yet (and even for those who have), I thought I'd try to see if we can add to the list in the comment area below. First da list...

  1. There are some days where it's so cold you just have to put on a shirt. - It's 70° degrees! I'm gonna get frostbite!!!"
  2. Always forgetting to use your kama`aina discount. - I mean, do places locals really go even take kama`aina discounts?
  3. You don't know who your cousins are and who your actual cousins are. - Everyone's your cousin! This, of course, includes all your aunties. Your bus driver. Your bank teller. Your next door neighbor's neighbor's neighbor. Everyone's your aunty!
  4. That overwhelming urge to defend the miracle that is SPAM. - Blasphemy! Spam musubis are a religion.
  5. Giving/getting directions is always an adventure. - "Okay, you wanna go mauka, and when you get to the third mango tree make a left, you'll see one waterfall on your right hand side, just keep going. When you get to the menehune at the U-turn, he'll ask you three questions..."
  6. When shipping costs more than the total cost of the item you're shipping.
  7. Baked vs. steamed (manapua). - You can't make me decide.
  8. Shave ice vs. your indecisiveness. - SERIOUSLY YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DECIDE.
  9. If it doesn't have rice, then it's not a real meal. - These are the rules.
  10. When you haven't been to the beach since yesterday...
  11. ...and then can't decide which beach to go to. - Okay, fine, take it back... we got 99 problems and a beach ain't one.
  12. That said, it is kind of hard to enjoy all of Hawaii's natural breathtaking beauty... - ...when you're trapped in (traffic) all day. Because Honolulu has the second worst traffic in the country, just after L.A. The average driver here wastes 50 hours in gridlock a year. That's over a week's worth of surfing.
  13. Not to mention gas already costs an arm and a leg and your first-born keiki.
  14. When you can enter to win a free, 7-day, all expenses paid, VIP, luxury vacation for two to.......................................................................Hawaii.
  15. It can be off the air everywhere else, but here every week is "Shark Week".
  16. When you have to call Leavitt, Yamane & Soldner for something...
  17. There's no civilized way to eat a malasada... ...or a coco puff. - Don't even try. It's physically and emotionally impossible!
  18. Anyone dressed in head-to-toe Jeans Warehouse. - This isn't just a problem. It's a fashion emergency!
  19. The name of this product: BotoLift. - So, wait, wait, wait, wait... You put this where?!?!
  20. When one of these melts in your pocket (white rabbit candy).
  21. That one Nicki Minaj verse. Because you can't be "in the islands of Waikiki," Nicki.
  22. Your throat will start tightening up and you'll begin salivating in 3, 2, 1... (lihing mui)
  23. These stairs are safe, right? (stairway to heaven)
  24. That Google Maps doesn't have an "Avoid Potholes" option. - Because sometimes there's a road in our potholes.
  25. Your favorite band will NEVER tour here. Ever. - Just accept it.
  26. When Obama won the presidency, you had to force yourself to be happy for someone from Punahou for the first time ever. - It was a struggle.
  27. You're not sure who to trust: Dan Cooke or Guy Hagi? - Not that it really matters... It's not like the weather ever really changes anyway.
  28. This thing called "Hawaiian" pizza. - Are we still calling it that? Okay, just checking...
  29. You've gotten into serious debates over which Zippy's is the best Zippy's. - Foolproof BFF Test: If they don't know your Zippy's order by heart, then they are NOT your BFF. No exceptions!
  30. Your legit ID always gets a harder look on the mainland. - Mahalo, "Superbad".
  31. This question on Yahoo! Answers (Do they have Internet in Hawaii?). And let's not forget the classics like, "Do you still live in grass shacks?" and "What about electricity?" FUN FACT: 'Iolani Palace had electricity and telephones before the White House did! Also, yes, you can use U.S. currency here, and no, you don't need your U.S. passport and power adaptors when you visit.
  32. When someone uses "Hawaiian" the same way they'd use "Californian" or "New Yorker". - Yeah, that's not going to work... BECAUSE HAWAIIAN IS A RACE.
  33. When someone corrects the way you pronounce "karaoke" and "karate". - Sigh, we're just saying it right.
  34. Or you're told you pronounce "Hawai`i" funny. - Again, not "funny," just right. We live here. WE WOULD KNOW.
  35. But wait, honestly, though – do we really have an accent? - Apparently we do say some words like "button" and "candy" kind of weird or something?
  36. Even though they don't have laces, leaving anybody's house is going to take an extra minute. - And for the last time...
  37. THEY'RE CALLED SLIPPERS.
  38. However, the biggest problem is taking it all for granted because... Lucky We Live Hawaii! Chee hoo!

Got any to add? Post it in the comment area below. Here's mine to start:

* Your idea of an Aloha shirt is much different than mine!

K, what say you?

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I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part II)

November 29th, 2010
By



Part I |  Part II 

Are y'all stuffed from all that turkey? Well kick off your shoes, lean back, loosen that belt, and get ready for some belly shakin' laughter!

Here's Part II of last week's hilarious "I'm a Man, I Can Fix That!" post forwarded to me by mamasan. Don't forget to post your captions and comments for your favorite ones!

---
(continued from last week...)

Car imported from the wrong country? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #11 Caption Here]

Satellite go out in the rain? I can fix that! (maybe they should've considered Oceanic Time Warner Cable! :P )

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #12 Caption Here]

Electric stove broken & can't heat coffee? I fixed that.

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #13 Caption Here]

Wiper motor burned out? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #14 Caption Here]

WTH?

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #15 Caption Here]

Display rack falling over? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #16 Caption Here]

Desk overloaded? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #17 Caption Here]

Car can't be ordered with the "Woody" option? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #18 Caption Here]

Exhaust pipe dragging? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #19 Caption Here]

Gotta feed the baby AND do the laundry? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #20 Caption Here]

Cables falling behind the desk? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #21 Caption Here]

No skate park in town? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #22 Caption Here]

and - last but not least - - - -
Out of diapers? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #23 Caption Here]

---

I wonder if I was supposed to preface that last one with NSFW? Ahahahaha!

A-ight gangy. Post your comments/captions below... and don't forget to have a Happy Fun Day Monday! Shooooots!

Part I |  Part II 

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I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)

November 22nd, 2010
By



 Part I  | Part II

How's the start of the week shaping up so far for you guys? Hope it's good yo! If not, hurr's a lil' sumthin' sumthin' to cheer you up!

Recently, mamasan forwarded this one to me and I thought it'd be perfect for us for Fun Day Monday! Enjoy!

---

Don't have a spoon? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #1 Caption Here]

Seatbelt broken? I can fix that! (Is that a neck brace you have on?)

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #2 Caption Here]

New TV too big for the old cabinet? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #3 Caption Here]

No bottle opener? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #4 Caption Here]

Room too dark using compact fluorescents? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #5 Caption Here]

Electrical problem? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #6 Caption Here]

Car stereo stolen? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #7 Caption Here]

Bookshelf cracking under the weight? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #8 Caption Here]

No ice chest? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #9 Caption Here]

Can't read the ATM screen? I can fix that!

I'm A Man, I Can Fix That! (Part I)
[Insert Image #10 Caption Here]

(to be continued next week...)

---

Too funny yeah? Post your comments/feedback on your fave ones above or make up some funny kine captions for all of um below! Shoots den!

Happy Fun Day Monday y'all! Have a great week!

 Part I  | Part II

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Post a Message to Your 16 Year Old Self

November 8th, 2010
By



Following the popularity of last week's hilarious #moviesinmypants blog (now up to 159 comments), I'm gonna piggy back off another recently popular/trending topic on Twitter called #tweetyour16yearoldself...

The idea is to write a message from your current self to your 16 year old self, based on the life lessons and experiences you've gained over the years. Fun right?

So in the comment area below, go ahead, post a message to your 16 year old (bad) self! I'm sure he or she could learn a few things! ;)

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Movies In My Pants (#moviesinmypants)

November 1st, 2010
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Happy November 1st y'all! I hope you're all recovered from a lonnnng weekend of Halloween partying. *grin*

So the other day on Twitter, the hilarious #moviesinmypants hashtag picked up a lot of steam. It's a funny game that cracked me up and made me think about you guys. The idea is to think of a movie name and fill in the blank for the following statement:

__________ In My Pants

The more creative you get with the movie titles, the more we'll crack each other up. Yes it's juvenile... but what the hey, it's a good way to help each other get through this Monday together right? LOL!

So in the comment area below, post your favorite movie in your pants! Hurr's an example: "40 Year Old Virgin In My Pants"... Ahahaha! Get um?

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In other news, check out my new article (including videos!) on AroundHawaii.com:

Cougar Pride - Three Kaiser High Grads Making a Difference
Cougar Pride - Three Kaiser High Grads Making a Difference

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