Funday Monday: Women Make It Better
By World Wide Ed
Happy last day of the month y'all! 
Imma gonna be pretty slammed today with all of the end-of-the-month deadlines, but I wanted to post a quickie quote I got the other day in an email from my friend Joanna.
It's borderline risque (1st and last sentences), borderline sexist (3rd and 4th sentences), but all for fun. So no get your panties in a bunch k?
"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, you better be ready to receive a ton of shhh."
Talk to me!
* Let's make a fun little game out of this shall we?
- If you're a man, fill in the following blanks: If you give a man a __________, he'll give you __________.
- If you're a woman, fill in the following blanks: If you give a woman a __________, she'll give you __________.
In fact, for kicks, fill in the blanks for either sentence. That should make for an interesting conversation down below don'tchathink. 
But remember... PLAY NICE! Well... relatively... 
Since I have to fo sho play nice and be politically correct, I'll start with my tame/boring one:
- If you give a man a remote, he'll give you peace and quiet for hours on end.
- If you give a woman (at a club in Hawaii) a look, she'll give you nothing. At least they did to me back in the day. Ahaha, nah!
Your turn! Fill in da blanks!
World Wide Ed
August 31st, 2009 at 1:05 am
If you give a man a peek, he'll give you a smile.
If you give a woman a smile, she'll give you "What the hell you lookin' at?" look.
... Hey, Ed ... I got a hundred of these ... can I post more than one??? ...
August 31st, 2009 at 2:04 am
If you give a man a simple problem, he'll give you a way overthought, complicated solution.
If you give a woman the wrong answer, she'll give you a list of 100 things you ever did wrong to her.
... ok, I'll just stop at 2 posts ... gotta go to bed now ...
August 31st, 2009 at 6:18 am
Of course beej! You know me likes the comments!
Bwahahahaha!
August 31st, 2009 at 6:31 am
Give a woman a dollar, she'll give you back an empty wallet.
Give a woman your car, and she'll give you call back from GEICO.
Give your woman an engagement ring, she'll give you back a SUFFER-ring.
August 31st, 2009 at 6:39 am
That last statement in no way is directed at my boootiful and perfect wife.
August 31st, 2009 at 6:57 am
If you give a man HUGS and KISSES he'll give you his wallet with cash!
If you give a woman a HUGS and KISSES, she'll give you what the hell did you do now?.
August 31st, 2009 at 6:59 am
Give your woman an engagement ring, she'll get pliers cut it in half since she wants a bigger ring to pawn.
August 31st, 2009 at 7:01 am
if you give woman sperm she will come home with million babies to empty your wallet.
August 31st, 2009 at 7:13 am
If you give a man a FOOD, he'll give you money to go shopping.
If you give a woman FOOD she'll give you SWEETIE YOU ARE SO NICE...can you give money to go shopping?
August 31st, 2009 at 7:26 am
LOLOLOL! Good save frankie!
Woah, off of one sperm!? Impressive Rosey... Impressive!
August 31st, 2009 at 7:37 am
yes remember octomom the sprem split or something ..YES PEOPLE MULTIPLE..one sperm the kids will have kids then more kids!!
August 31st, 2009 at 7:39 am
yes all you need is one sperm..if the woman has six kids form one sperm over time the sperm is into millions!!! YES that is how the planet multiply it started with one sperm...THE THEN BOY HAS MILLIONS sperm over time they multiply like rabbits.
August 31st, 2009 at 8:07 am
If you give a man a MEAL, he will give you GAS (poot...)
August 31st, 2009 at 8:36 am
If you give a woman your heart, she'll give you a lifetime of wedded bliss.
... had to throw this one is ...
August 31st, 2009 at 9:21 am
If you give a man road directions, he'll give you a deaf ear.
If you give a woman directions to assemble something, she'll give you a blank stare.
*walking on eggshells with this topic*
August 31st, 2009 at 10:17 am
I am better at assembling SO.....!
August 31st, 2009 at 10:19 am
if you give a man direction.....bring your snacks...if you are lost just blame him regardless. !
August 31st, 2009 at 11:03 am
If you give a man directions to assemble something, he'll give you a grunt and start whacking away without looking at it.
August 31st, 2009 at 11:06 am
If you give a woman road directions, she'll try her best to follow them but will still end up lost . . . unless you use magic words like "mall," "outlet," "sale" or "discount." Then she'll get there in five minutes
August 31st, 2009 at 12:30 pm
if you give a women a plant... you get a garden.
or in my case, if you give me a plant, you get a dead plant
hehe
August 31st, 2009 at 12:48 pm
btw like the topic "women make it better"
August 31st, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Yikes!
LOLOL! Nice! And so true b.! I especially enjoyed the sound effect!
Eh, no ack beej. Wifey no stay. Who's butt you trying fo kiss? Hehe, nah!
That's the only way to start some heated convo no Hobbz?
Word! Who needs instructions!? *grunt*
Hehe! I guess "landmarks" means malls eh sky?
Hahaha! Why, you no mo green thumb McCat?
Chalk it down to temporary insanity.
Nah, nah!
August 31st, 2009 at 1:09 pm
@sky -
Good one!
Yeah, neva mind the street names ... give us "landmarks".
August 31st, 2009 at 9:55 pm
@NeedaHobby - I know, I'm horrible with street names. It's always, "you know that shoe place next to the restaurant we ate at two weeks ago?"
August 31st, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Heee heee.. you guys are good.. love the title Ed!
September 1st, 2009 at 9:30 am
If you give a woman road directions...THIS IS THE TIME TO GET A HUSBAND WHO YOU CAN YELL AT HIM okay go find the direction...IF somebody ask for direction usually find my hsubnad..he knows where is NORTH SOUTH EAST AND WEST.... OKAY HE SAYS TURN NORTH....I BE LIKE WHAT NORTH??? I KNOW THE ROAD GOES EAST TO WEST SO IF YOU SEE ROAD IT SAY GOING NORTH THEN I TURN FIND EAST...I wont get lost.....THEN I LOOK I USE THE HIGHEST BUILDING IF I WAS EVER GET LOST MEET ME AT THE HIGHEST BUILDING in the city..YOU LOOK UP.....!!!
September 1st, 2009 at 9:32 am
yes if you go anywhere and I am lost I say lets meet at the tallest building..walk in that direction!
September 1st, 2009 at 9:32 am
I usually study the map....
September 1st, 2009 at 9:33 am
if you give a woman a map she will pass it to her husband then blame him for being stupid!
September 1st, 2009 at 12:31 pm
LOL! Thanks H2L! Just for you!
Ahahahaha!