Funday Monday: Women Make It Better

August 31st, 2009
By

Happy last day of the month y'all! :)

Imma gonna be pretty slammed today with all of the end-of-the-month deadlines, but I wanted to post a quickie quote I got the other day in an email from my friend Joanna.

It's borderline risque (1st and last sentences), borderline sexist (3rd and 4th sentences), but all for fun. So no get your panties in a bunch k?

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, you better be ready to receive a ton of shhh."

Talk to me!
* Let's make a fun little game out of this shall we?

- If you're a man, fill in the following blanks: If you give a man a __________, he'll give you __________.
- If you're a woman, fill in the following blanks: If you give a woman a __________, she'll give you __________.

In fact, for kicks, fill in the blanks for either sentence. That should make for an interesting conversation down below don'tchathink. :P But remember... PLAY NICE! Well... relatively... ;)

Since I have to fo sho play nice and be politically correct, I'll start with my tame/boring one:

- If you give a man a remote, he'll give you peace and quiet for hours on end.
- If you give a woman (at a club in Hawaii) a look, she'll give you nothing. At least they did to me back in the day. Ahaha, nah! :P

Your turn! Fill in da blanks!

30 Responses to “Funday Monday: Women Make It Better”

  1. rayboyjr:

    If you give a man a peek, he'll give you a smile.

    If you give a woman a smile, she'll give you "What the hell you lookin' at?" look.

    ... Hey, Ed ... I got a hundred of these ... can I post more than one??? ... :D


  2. rayboyjr:

    If you give a man a simple problem, he'll give you a way overthought, complicated solution.

    If you give a woman the wrong answer, she'll give you a list of 100 things you ever did wrong to her. :shock:

    ... ok, I'll just stop at 2 posts ... gotta go to bed now ...


  3. World Wide Ed:

    * 1.rayboyjr:
    ... Hey, Ed ... I got a hundred of these ... can I post more than one??? ...

    Of course beej! You know me likes the comments! :P

    * rayboyjr:
    If you give a woman the wrong answer, she'll give you a list of 100 things you ever did wrong to her.

    Bwahahahaha!


  4. frankie:

    Give a woman a dollar, she'll give you back an empty wallet.

    Give a woman your car, and she'll give you call back from GEICO.

    Give your woman an engagement ring, she'll give you back a SUFFER-ring. ;)


  5. frankie:

    That last statement in no way is directed at my boootiful and perfect wife. :-D


  6. Rosette:

    If you give a man HUGS and KISSES he'll give you his wallet with cash!
    If you give a woman a HUGS and KISSES, she'll give you what the hell did you do now?.


  7. Rosette:

    Give your woman an engagement ring, she'll get pliers cut it in half since she wants a bigger ring to pawn.


  8. Rosette:

    if you give woman sperm she will come home with million babies to empty your wallet.


  9. Rosette:

    If you give a man a FOOD, he'll give you money to go shopping.

    If you give a woman FOOD she'll give you SWEETIE YOU ARE SO NICE...can you give money to go shopping?


  10. World Wide Ed:

    * 4.frankie:
    Give your woman an engagement ring, she'll give you back a SUFFER-ring.

    That last statement in no way is directed at my boootiful and perfect wife.

    LOLOLOL! Good save frankie!

    * 8.Rosette:
    if you give woman sperm she will come home with million babies to empty your wallet.

    Woah, off of one sperm!? Impressive Rosey... Impressive!


  11. Rosette:

    yes remember octomom the sprem split or something ..YES PEOPLE MULTIPLE..one sperm the kids will have kids then more kids!!


  12. Rosette:

    yes all you need is one sperm..if the woman has six kids form one sperm over time the sperm is into millions!!! YES that is how the planet multiply it started with one sperm...THE THEN BOY HAS MILLIONS sperm over time they multiply like rabbits.


  13. b.:

    If you give a man a MEAL, he will give you GAS (poot...)


  14. rayboyjr:

    If you give a woman your heart, she'll give you a lifetime of wedded bliss.

    ... had to throw this one is ... :D


  15. NeedaHobby:

    If you give a man road directions, he'll give you a deaf ear.

    If you give a woman directions to assemble something, she'll give you a blank stare.

    *walking on eggshells with this topic* :)


  16. Rosette:

    I am better at assembling SO.....!


  17. Rosette:

    if you give a man direction.....bring your snacks...if you are lost just blame him regardless. !


  18. skycastles:

    If you give a man directions to assemble something, he'll give you a grunt and start whacking away without looking at it.


  19. skycastles:

    If you give a woman road directions, she'll try her best to follow them but will still end up lost . . . unless you use magic words like "mall," "outlet," "sale" or "discount." Then she'll get there in five minutes :)


  20. mcat:

    if you give a women a plant... you get a garden.

    or in my case, if you give me a plant, you get a dead plant :( hehe


  21. mcat:

    btw like the topic "women make it better" :)


  22. World Wide Ed:

    * 12.Rosette:
    yes all you need is one sperm..if the woman has six kids form one sperm over time the sperm is into millions!!! YES that is how the planet multiply it started with one sperm...THE THEN BOY HAS MILLIONS sperm over time they multiply like rabbits.

    Yikes!

    * 13.b.:
    If you give a man a MEAL, he will give you GAS (poot...)

    LOLOL! Nice! And so true b.! I especially enjoyed the sound effect! ;)

    * 14.rayboyjr:
    If you give a woman your heart, she'll give you a lifetime of wedded bliss.

    ... had to throw this one is ...

    Eh, no ack beej. Wifey no stay. Who's butt you trying fo kiss? Hehe, nah!

    * 15.NeedaHobby:
    *walking on eggshells with this topic*

    That's the only way to start some heated convo no Hobbz? 8)

    * 18.skycastles:
    If you give a man directions to assemble something, he'll give you a grunt and start whacking away without looking at it.

    Word! Who needs instructions!? *grunt* :P

    * 19.skycastles:
    If you give a woman road directions, she'll try her best to follow them but will still end up lost . . . unless you use magic words like "mall," "outlet," "sale" or "discount." Then she'll get there in five minutes

    Hehe! I guess "landmarks" means malls eh sky?

    * 20.mcat:
    if you give a women a plant... you get a garden.

    or in my case, if you give me a plant, you get a dead plant hehe

    Hahaha! Why, you no mo green thumb McCat?

    * mcat:
    btw like the topic "women make it better"

    Chalk it down to temporary insanity. :P Nah, nah!


  23. NeedaHobby:

    @sky -

    If you give a woman road directions, she'll try her best to follow them but will still end up lost . . . unless you use magic words like "mall," "outlet," "sale" or "discount." Then she'll get there in five minutes

    Good one! ;) Yeah, neva mind the street names ... give us "landmarks".


  24. skycastles:

    @NeedaHobby - I know, I'm horrible with street names. It's always, "you know that shoe place next to the restaurant we ate at two weeks ago?" :lol:


  25. HNL2LAS:

    Heee heee.. you guys are good.. love the title Ed!


  26. Rosette:

    If you give a woman road directions...THIS IS THE TIME TO GET A HUSBAND WHO YOU CAN YELL AT HIM okay go find the direction...IF somebody ask for direction usually find my hsubnad..he knows where is NORTH SOUTH EAST AND WEST.... OKAY HE SAYS TURN NORTH....I BE LIKE WHAT NORTH??? I KNOW THE ROAD GOES EAST TO WEST SO IF YOU SEE ROAD IT SAY GOING NORTH THEN I TURN FIND EAST...I wont get lost.....THEN I LOOK I USE THE HIGHEST BUILDING IF I WAS EVER GET LOST MEET ME AT THE HIGHEST BUILDING in the city..YOU LOOK UP.....!!!


  27. Rosette:

    yes if you go anywhere and I am lost I say lets meet at the tallest building..walk in that direction!


  28. Rosette:

    I usually study the map....


  29. Rosette:

    if you give a woman a map she will pass it to her husband then blame him for being stupid!


  30. World Wide Ed:

    * 25.HNL2LAS:
    Heee heee.. you guys are good.. love the title Ed!

    LOL! Thanks H2L! Just for you! :P

    * 29.Rosette:
    if you give a woman a map she will pass it to her husband then blame him for being stupid!

    Ahahahaha!